


Loosestrife

by chocobobutt



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M, clack week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 15:41:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7720450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocobobutt/pseuds/chocobobutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clack week day 2: What if?<br/>What if Zack came back?</p><p>Takes place after Advent Children</p><p>The name of the fanfic comes from the flower marked at zack's grave which are yellow loosestrifes</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loosestrife

It was another sunny day out at the outskirts of old Midgar. The place that Cloud was sitting was a place he knew well. It was the place he had lost his best friend. It was the place he had lost his Zack. Flowers grew now, where the Buster sword had once been used as a grave marker. Recently he had fixed it and placed it in the church to rest alongside Aerith’s flowers. He believed the both of them belonged together now. Even if Zack and Aerith had lived, they both probably would be together. There was never going to be a place for him in their relationship other than as best friend and he was okay with that. He had accepted that and had accepted the fact he’d never see them smiling again. At least he had seen them together once, in that church months ago. 

Taking his gloves off, Cloud reached down next to where he sat and touched the petals. They were soft, silky even. He wanted to pluck one, just one to take home and keep. It wasn’t often he had a chance to pass by here or the church even though he tried to detour every time he made a delivery. There was also the fact that nothing was really stopping him. If he took one no one would notice but him. No one even knew Zack had died here but him. It was his personal place to come and think. Tifa and the others couldn’t find him out here, though if he went to the church they could. Looking back over at Edge he found his resolve. He uprooted one of the flowers, taking it roots and all with him back home. Never had Cloud driven slower or carefully as he did with this precious flower in his hands

As soon as he came back to his shared apartment with Tifa he went to his room, missing their hellos from Denzel and Marlene as he passed them doing their school work. In his room had been a vase that had a dead flower from Marlene from months ago. It was on the mantle of his window and the light blue color of it had always been a nice calm color to him. Remembering something Aerith had taught him about compost, he decided the dead flower would be able to add to the soil he had already saved the flower from. The position on his window would allow for lots of light too since he figured this particular flower needed it if it grew out in the open. As he tended to the flower, making sure it had enough room and enough sunlight he could hear Aerith’s words in his head. 

‘You have to be gentle. Flowers need tender love and care too, just like us Cloud.’

 

Of course it was just like Aerith to say something about plants but have such a bigger meaning to it than that. Many things he had talked to with her had stuck with him. Many things he had talked to with Zack stuck with him too. It was this reason why he had cherished his new plant already, it made him remember the two he cared for most. 

“Cloud! Dinner!” 

His memories were put on halt for a minute as Tifa’s voice carried through the apartment. It seemed he’d have to stop his flower watching for the time being. With a quick touch of those silky soft petals, Cloud left his room to go eat with his little family. 

The rest of his night was uneventful, that was until he fell asleep. Normally Cloud couldn’t remember his dreams. He never really got that deep a sleep to begin with, but this dream he wouldn’t ever be able to forget. He had dreamed he was in a forest, a dense and humid forest. Even for a dream he was surprised by how real everything felt. The sky up ahead was dark and yet he could see where he went with the moonlight as his guide. Little fireflies seemed to light up darker parts of the trail as he walked. Despite how real everything felt, there was not a sound, no birds or other wildlife. There wasn’t even the crunching of his feet on the grass as he walked. It was calming, it was nice. 

Cloud kept walking down the seemingly endless path of trees until he saw a light up ahead. It seemed the trees were suddenly going to stop and he was reaching a clearing. As he got closer he started to recognize the foliage. The trees were palm trees and there was other tropical plants around him. This wasn’t just any forest, he’d remember this one. It was Gongaga. Zack had told him many times about this place and he had visited it on his journey. This was the place he met Zack’s family at. The particular place he was coming upon was a cliff that overlooked the small town. When he finally reached it he didn’t see the houses and graveyard, instead he was in a church, Aerith’s church.

The church was just as Cloud remembered it, before it was broken down entirely. The only thing out of place was the wood around flowers. It was wood from the ceiling, like when he came crashing through. He walked over, cautious not to break anything. There was no sound again in here as he walked, having expecting creaking on the old wooden floor. When he reached the flowers, some smashed by the debris he started to clear it off. It was a rather peaceful activity to do. For Cloud, this dream was rather nice so far, if not a bit odd.

The reverie was ruined by a hand on his shoulder. It had been warm and gentle yet the sudden touch scared him and had him jumping forward into the flowers. He turned and looked up and for a moment he saw a flash back of Aerith, smiling down at him like so many years ago. It wasn’t Aerith who had touched him though, it was Zack. Azure eyes widened as he looked upon a face he hadn’t seen in even a longer amount of time. He looked just like he had years ago, before the haircut, back when they had first met. He had looked so young then, so happy and alive. If Cloud had any doubts this was a dream before, he was certain it was now. 

“Hey Spike.” Zack greeted with a smile, it was the first sound Cloud had heard at all in his dream thus far. 

“H-hey yourself?” The blonde replied. Honestly he didn’t know what to say. What did you say to a dream version of your dead best friend?

“Aw, C’mon Spike. You can do better than that! Why, I’d say you’ve seen a ghost.” The dream Zack chuckled at his own dark humor and leaned back a bit, taking a little walk around the sitting Cloud. “You know I had this whole speech to tell you, well, Aerith actually wrote most of it and I forgot it already. Too bad there isn’t any pens and paper in the life stream.” Zack frowned a bit at that but then finally stopped walking and looked at Cloud. “Honestly it’s my nerves. I’m excited and I have to tell you something really important!” 

Despite how happy Cloud was to see his friend, even in a dream, the pacing and useless conversation was trying his patience. “Zack just spit it out then.”

“I’m…ugh….let’s see…” Zack scratched at his head, a bit deep in thought as he tried to figure out how to phrase it. “You see me and Aerith have been watching you and waiting for you to have a happy ending but you haven’t found it yet. We were really rooting for you two.”

Cloud frowned a bit at that and leaned back in the flowers, only now noticing that no matter how he pressed against them, they weren’t getting destroyed by his touch. “I thought so too but...we are friends, we were friends for so long it just works better that way. I couldn’t reach her expectations and I didn’t want her waiting for something she’d never get.”

“I know, I saw.” Zack squatted down at that, getting down to Cloud’s height. “That’s why Aerith came up with a plan. She found a way to send one of us back. She figured if Sephiroth could do it so many times, surely a cetra could.” He smiled a bit at that, picking up a flower and examining it. “I told her she should go, and you know what she told me?” Zack looked at Cloud and saw the slight head shake of a no from him. “She told me I should go.” 

The response Zack received was a very confused Cloud. He wasn’t believing not a single word of this. It was clearly just his mind playing tricks on him. “And I have no say in this?” He figured why not at least play along. Even if this was just a dream, that he’d never have any of them back, he could at least enjoy this moment of happiness with Zack. 

“Nope. We already decided. I hope you don’t mind. I thought you and Aerith would well...ya know but she gets what she wants.” Zack shrugged and stood back up, walking over to where Cloud was among the flowers and sitting next to him. Their legs were touching and surprisingly enough for Cloud, he really felt like he could feel it. “You were my best friend Cloud. I had plans to run away with you. We were going to live together in some remote place, just you and me. Zack and Spike.” For the first time in the dream, Zack looked upset, that smile fading away. “I loved Aerith, I really did but I loved you too. It was different with you and yet the same kind of love. I want this chance Cloud. I want to see you again.”

This was getting too much for him. It was one thing to have a silly conversation with a figment of his imagination, it was something else to have a conversation about what ifs and what could have beens. He moved away from Zack, getting up quickly as if he’d been burned and started to walk down that aisle. He wouldn’t stay for this. He didn’t want to have this talk with Zack. He thought he was over it, over Zack. Zack was dead, his feelings had to be dead with him. 

“Cloud!” 

Zack was up and chasing after him in an instant. He grabbed Cloud’s arm and spun him around to face him. “Cloud, don’t walk away from me...please.” There was desperation in those cyan eyes of Zack’s. It nearly broke Cloud but he still wasn’t having this. 

“No. This is a dream, a bad dream. I’m over you. I had to...I had to get over you or I’d never move on.” Cloud could feel his resolve to leave fleeing as he stood there, looking up at Zack. “Please...please don’t tease me.”

Zack wanted to tell him he wasn’t. He wanted to prove that what he said was truth but even he wasn’t sure Aerith’s plan would work. “Look, Cloud I don’t have much time but meet me, meet me here. Meet me in the church. I’ll be waiting for you.” He hugged him then, hugged him harder than he ever had in his life. He was trying so hard to convey everything in that one touch. “Please Cloud. Meet me there.”

“Zack?” The tight hold on him was loosening yet he hadn’t moved. When he tried to figure out why he noticed Zack was slowly fading, disappearing right in front of him. “Zack?..N-no…” 

“Zack!” 

 

Cloud awoke with a start, tears falling down his face. His breathing was hard as he tried to go over in his head what he had just seen, what he had felt. Zack had never held him so intimately even when he had been alive and what scared him most was that he had felt it, he could still feel Zack’s arms around him. It was impossible, it had to be. Dreams weren’t real and people didn’t just come back from the dead like that, at least people who weren’t Sephiroth.

He needed a shower he decided. Yes, a shower would do him just fine. It would wash everything away, all the memories of his dream. So with that new plan he got out of bed and immediately regretted it. The moment his feet touched the floor they were in a little pile of dirt. How said dirt had arrived at his bedside he didn’t know. He looked around for the source and saw blue ceramic shards everywhere that lead to a flower. The vase had shattered in the middle of the night and that sent a shiver down his spine. Any other person might have thought of it as a sign but he was trying to ignore it. He didn’t want to believe it. He knew if he went to the church he’d be disappointed. 

The shower didn’t help. The whole time he was in there all he could think about was zack. As he washed his back he could still feel those gentle touches. He could still feel the warmth of him too. He could still see that smile, those sad eyes. 

‘No. I can’t. I have to stop’

 

Cloud had wanted to follow those words, to stand behind his conviction but an hour after that shower he was on his bike and heading for the church. Not wanting to feel that heart ache he tried to mentally prepare himself for everything. The church was going to be in ruins. There was a big pool of water in the ground now. The buster sword was there too. These were all facts he replayed in his head. There would be no Zack there. No matter what he thought there would be no Zack. 

Muscles tensed as he pulled up to the dilapidated building. He was terrified to go in. If Zack wasn’t there he’d be a fool but if Zack was...What if Zack was there?

Turning the key on his bike, he shut Fenrir off and pocketed it. The walk to the church though short felt like ages. It was overly sunny today and as he walked through the church doors he was blinded with a momentary flash of light and then….

Nothing. There was no one here. No Zack, No Aerith, not even a hint of Sephiroth. It was just him, the flowers and the buster sword. He felt like a fool, a fool for believing in his own dreams. It wasn’t possible and he knew it and yet he came out here like an idiot. He turned, walking over to one of the broken pews and kicking it in his annoyance. 

“I know you aren’t the religious type but what did that thing ever do to you?”

No. 

“Man we didn’t think you’d get here this early.”

It couldn’t be.

“Hey Spike, ya gonna just stand there looking at the pew all day?”

Zack.

Azure eyes turned to the sound of that voice, that gentle voice he missed and saw him. He was there, standing with the flowers. Unlike his dream he looked older, closer to how he had last seen him but he wasn’t bleeding. The only scar on him was that one on his cheek.

“How?...How are you here?”

“I told you, don’t you remember? Aerith figured out a way. After how you acted last night I really tried to get her to come to you instead, but you know how good she is act the art of persuasion. I mean she convinced you into wearing women’s clothing. It wasn’t hard for her to convince me to come back to you.”

“H-How do you know about that?!” Cloud nearly shrieked.

“Man, you really weren’t paying much attention last night were you? What do you think I do all day? You make for a pretty good substitute for television my friend.” Zack grinned then, that grin that only he could make. It was a face Cloud would always remember. 

“It really is you, isn’t it? You’re really here. You’re really back.” Cloud spoke barely above a whisper. It wasn’t for Zack to respond to, it was his own thoughts being verbalized as he really got a good look at Zack. He was a lot taller than he remembered, bigger too. Cloud quickly took his gloves off then and went to cup Zack’s face in them as he looked up at him. He was soft, soft like those flowers had been. He couldn’t remember the last time he held Zack or if he had felt like this last time but he didn’t care at this moment. Zack was back. Zack was alive again. The tears started to form in little droplets as he moved closer to him, turning into a steady stream down his face as he pressed his face against Zack’s chest. 

“Oh Spike don’t cry on me. C’mon I’m gonna have to owe Aerith 50 gil if you do. I bet her you wouldn’t cry.” Even if Zack’s words were a joke, they had come out in little broken breaths. He was trying to lighten the mood but failing at it. It was hard to be happy and silly when your best friend was crying in your arms. “Cloud, if you keep it up I’ll cry too. C’mon. Smile for me?”

Cloud didn’t reply for a bit, silently wishing to stay where he was against Zack in case this was a dream again. When he did pull back to look at Zack, he had on the biggest smile on his face despite the tears. He wiped at his face with his sleeves, rubbing his cheeks and making them a bit red. “They are happy tears, Zack.” He sniffled a little. "I missed you...I missed you so much. I-"

"I know Spike...I know." Zack couldn’t help but smile right back at Cloud. His worry pushed aside when he saw how bright the other seemed to glow. “Then, let’s get those happy tears put away and go home. I’ve missed out on years with you.”


End file.
